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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Long time no update

I'm going to be real. I've been dieting. Eek. I don't even like that word. I'm trying to figure out the whole balance and making it just a part of my real life, but in the meantime it's a freaking struggle. I'll go a few weeks where I'm on point eating and exercising wise, which I fully admit means not eating enough, bingeing, and exercising too much. So, for accountability sake I am putting it out there that I need to eat a minimum of 1500 calories a day and I will not over-exercise to make up for a crazy eating day. I definitely struggle with some OCD. It's not even really about body image. It's about controlling things. My struggle lies with counting calories, bingeing, and over exercising. If I don't calorie count, I binge. If I'm too stringent, I binge. So, I am just trying to find some balance without going overboard. Whew. So, my goal is balance, maintain, and be strong. My plan is to loosely count calories to stay accountable and to enjoy my food. 2nd, to stick to my workouts and not adjust to make up for calories. 

So hard. Okay, lighter subject now :) I ran a 10k this weekend in 46 min and finished 1st woman! Yay! And I got to celebrate Mama's day with my mom by getting a foot massage and dinner 
And Saturday, I ran my race and then got a pedi and had Mexican food (sizzling fajita salad) with my mommy in law! 

I also admitted to the hubs that I have been bingeing on Friday night and we had a good long talk about triggers, followed by some planning, so I am feeling much better prepared and ready to actively seek and work towards better balance.

Whew, I was all over the place today. What I've learned so far from this (and I'm sure there's more) is to talk with people you trust and who actually listen and love you, to move on, and to have a plan. 

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